Dearest Oliver,

You're six weeks old today! You hate baths and changing your clothes and diapers. Boy, oh boy do you love to eat though. Your face and cooing when you're chugging away on a bottle is pretty adorable. This weekend you gave your first real smile and I've been doing all I can to get it to show back up. You were just curled up on my lap and we were hanging out after you ate and there it was, the biggest toothless grin and a happy little "heh". I can't wait until that becomes a regular occurrence. You're already getting noticeably bigger and stronger as the days go by, and looking less like your dad and more like your own unique self. Your auntie Melissa calls you LJ for little John, and I think it might not work for very much longer if you keep this up.

I think that you know who I am, and that makes me happy. At the very least you seem to know that it's not me when other people are holding you. I hope that you continue to give me that kind of love as you grow older. I feel so horrible and torn to pieces that I had to go back to work so early, I would have loved to stay home with you forever. Hopefully by the time you're old enough to remember I will be able to be home with you all day. I'm working to make that happen, but for the time being we've got bills to pay so I do what I can to make sure you have a roof over your head and food to eat and diapers to wear. I hope that if I have to stay at work throughout your life that you can respect that and not resent me for it. Just know that no matter what I'm doing the best I can and it's all for you. Every decision I make now has the impact it will make on you in the foreground and even though we may not have all the time to spend with one another, we just have to make the moments we do have count. I make sure to give you plenty of snuggles and kisses before I have to say goodbye to you each morning, and when I pick you up at night. It breaks my heart each day when I leave you, but those beautiful eyes and peaceful face when I get you in the evening heals it just enough to get me through.

We've reached the turning point in your development and we should really start to get to know you here soon. The you that you'll be for your whole long life. I can't wait!

Love,
Mom