Dearest Oliver,
You are two months old today! Time is going by so quickly I can start to really know what parents say when they tell me to hold on to each moment. You're growing so big these days, and can hold your head up for extended periods of time. You love to kick and stretch your legs and have started grinning and cooing with more frequency. You have also become pretty attached to me and have trouble falling asleep unless you're being held. Whereas your first month you only cried when you were hungry or needed a diaper change you're now crying for attention. I love to cuddle you, so I don't mind too much - only when I want to sleep.
Your grandma watched you for the first time two days ago and boy did you take advantage of that. She fed you twice as much as you normally eat and you had a whole bag of soiled clothes as evidence when I came to pick you up. I think she still enjoyed it though.
Your dad has started to play with you a little bit, grabbing your hands or feet and talking to you more. He's still not comfortable enough to hold you, but I hope that he'll be there soon.
I'm taking it each day at a time, working to try and get caught up on bills. I can't wait until I'm able to reduce my work hours and spend more time with you.
I love you Ol, my tiny little monkey.
~Mom
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Dearest Oliver,
You're six weeks old today! You hate baths and changing your clothes and diapers. Boy, oh boy do you love to eat though. Your face and cooing when you're chugging away on a bottle is pretty adorable. This weekend you gave your first real smile and I've been doing all I can to get it to show back up. You were just curled up on my lap and we were hanging out after you ate and there it was, the biggest toothless grin and a happy little "heh". I can't wait until that becomes a regular occurrence. You're already getting noticeably bigger and stronger as the days go by, and looking less like your dad and more like your own unique self. Your auntie Melissa calls you LJ for little John, and I think it might not work for very much longer if you keep this up.
I think that you know who I am, and that makes me happy. At the very least you seem to know that it's not me when other people are holding you. I hope that you continue to give me that kind of love as you grow older. I feel so horrible and torn to pieces that I had to go back to work so early, I would have loved to stay home with you forever. Hopefully by the time you're old enough to remember I will be able to be home with you all day. I'm working to make that happen, but for the time being we've got bills to pay so I do what I can to make sure you have a roof over your head and food to eat and diapers to wear. I hope that if I have to stay at work throughout your life that you can respect that and not resent me for it. Just know that no matter what I'm doing the best I can and it's all for you. Every decision I make now has the impact it will make on you in the foreground and even though we may not have all the time to spend with one another, we just have to make the moments we do have count. I make sure to give you plenty of snuggles and kisses before I have to say goodbye to you each morning, and when I pick you up at night. It breaks my heart each day when I leave you, but those beautiful eyes and peaceful face when I get you in the evening heals it just enough to get me through.
We've reached the turning point in your development and we should really start to get to know you here soon. The you that you'll be for your whole long life. I can't wait!
Love,
Mom
You're six weeks old today! You hate baths and changing your clothes and diapers. Boy, oh boy do you love to eat though. Your face and cooing when you're chugging away on a bottle is pretty adorable. This weekend you gave your first real smile and I've been doing all I can to get it to show back up. You were just curled up on my lap and we were hanging out after you ate and there it was, the biggest toothless grin and a happy little "heh". I can't wait until that becomes a regular occurrence. You're already getting noticeably bigger and stronger as the days go by, and looking less like your dad and more like your own unique self. Your auntie Melissa calls you LJ for little John, and I think it might not work for very much longer if you keep this up.
I think that you know who I am, and that makes me happy. At the very least you seem to know that it's not me when other people are holding you. I hope that you continue to give me that kind of love as you grow older. I feel so horrible and torn to pieces that I had to go back to work so early, I would have loved to stay home with you forever. Hopefully by the time you're old enough to remember I will be able to be home with you all day. I'm working to make that happen, but for the time being we've got bills to pay so I do what I can to make sure you have a roof over your head and food to eat and diapers to wear. I hope that if I have to stay at work throughout your life that you can respect that and not resent me for it. Just know that no matter what I'm doing the best I can and it's all for you. Every decision I make now has the impact it will make on you in the foreground and even though we may not have all the time to spend with one another, we just have to make the moments we do have count. I make sure to give you plenty of snuggles and kisses before I have to say goodbye to you each morning, and when I pick you up at night. It breaks my heart each day when I leave you, but those beautiful eyes and peaceful face when I get you in the evening heals it just enough to get me through.
We've reached the turning point in your development and we should really start to get to know you here soon. The you that you'll be for your whole long life. I can't wait!
Love,
Mom
Friday, August 31, 2012
Dearest Oliver,
You're here! My sweet little chipmunk, all snug in your bed currently while I pump out some food for you. Something I'm sure you'll love to think about when you're older, er, probably not. Oh well. You arrived August 21st at 2:40 am. 6lbs 7oz and 20.5" long. It was kind of scary thing for me, getting you here. I went into my doctor's appointment on the 20th and due to a complication (low fluid surrounding you) I was immediately ushered to the hospital for labor to be induced. At 5:00pm they started things in motion, and there you were in my arms, pooping all over me a little more than nine and a half hours later. That's right, pooping all over me. An event I'm sure I'll bring up on more than one occasion. Your God parents and grand parents were at the hospital with us waiting to greet you. You are so loved by so many people, it feels amazing to know that even if I were to leave this world today, you would still be loved and cared for. Let's not think about that though, shall we?
It's unreal to me how itsy bitsy teeny tiny you are. All the new born clothing just sort of hangs there. I can tell you're starting to fill out a bit though, as you've been greedily gobbling down all the milk offered to you every few hours for the past ten days. I gave you your first bath at home today... which you did not find amusing what so ever. I can't wait for you to start to grin (other than when you're passing gas) and laugh and coo. Right now the only sounds you make are whimpers, screams, and slurps as you eat. It's a little disheartening, but I have to remember that's the only way you know how to communicate right now.
I hope you're ready to take a journey with me my son, we have many miles to walk together. There are so many things in this world I long to show to you, so much I want to teach you. Already it seems like there are not enough hours in the day for me to accomplish all I hope to with you. I imagine as time turns the page, it only will get worse. I can't get over how much we have to learn about one another, and how devoted to you I already am. I hope that I am always there to dry your tears and make whatever is awful to you go away. From messy diapers and hunger pains, to broken hearts and shattered dreams. I'll be there for you as long as God is willing. I will always do the best I can, and try to give you the world - it's already beckoning you with open arms.
Be blessed my little one, for you are loved.
~Mom
You're here! My sweet little chipmunk, all snug in your bed currently while I pump out some food for you. Something I'm sure you'll love to think about when you're older, er, probably not. Oh well. You arrived August 21st at 2:40 am. 6lbs 7oz and 20.5" long. It was kind of scary thing for me, getting you here. I went into my doctor's appointment on the 20th and due to a complication (low fluid surrounding you) I was immediately ushered to the hospital for labor to be induced. At 5:00pm they started things in motion, and there you were in my arms, pooping all over me a little more than nine and a half hours later. That's right, pooping all over me. An event I'm sure I'll bring up on more than one occasion. Your God parents and grand parents were at the hospital with us waiting to greet you. You are so loved by so many people, it feels amazing to know that even if I were to leave this world today, you would still be loved and cared for. Let's not think about that though, shall we?
It's unreal to me how itsy bitsy teeny tiny you are. All the new born clothing just sort of hangs there. I can tell you're starting to fill out a bit though, as you've been greedily gobbling down all the milk offered to you every few hours for the past ten days. I gave you your first bath at home today... which you did not find amusing what so ever. I can't wait for you to start to grin (other than when you're passing gas) and laugh and coo. Right now the only sounds you make are whimpers, screams, and slurps as you eat. It's a little disheartening, but I have to remember that's the only way you know how to communicate right now.
I hope you're ready to take a journey with me my son, we have many miles to walk together. There are so many things in this world I long to show to you, so much I want to teach you. Already it seems like there are not enough hours in the day for me to accomplish all I hope to with you. I imagine as time turns the page, it only will get worse. I can't get over how much we have to learn about one another, and how devoted to you I already am. I hope that I am always there to dry your tears and make whatever is awful to you go away. From messy diapers and hunger pains, to broken hearts and shattered dreams. I'll be there for you as long as God is willing. I will always do the best I can, and try to give you the world - it's already beckoning you with open arms.
Be blessed my little one, for you are loved.
~Mom
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Dearest Oliver,
All the research says my heartburn is supposed to lesson when you're ready to arrive, I guess you didn't get the memo. Never mind that, you're getting close to joining us in this crazy world of ours. Every twinge I feel gets me nervous and excited that you're on your way. I'm doing a lot of research lately making sure I know exactly how I want things to go on your big day. Of course, life rarely gives us what we want and it seems like even less if we plan for it, but hey - that's what makes it interesting. Your dad and I are getting a little crazy with all the baby talk I think, it's been nice to just take a walk or cuddle without the world asking about all the symptoms and time frames. Everything is a countdown, every look is a summing up. I just want to meet you! I'm so curious as to who you'll look more like, what your attitude will be, what kind of little boy you'll become (please be the sweet kind). The waiting is starting to kill me! I'm terrified the more research I do of bringing you into the world, the actual physical process of labor, but on the other hand my desire to know you is so strong I'm keeping all the old wive's tales in my mind for getting you here sooner. Your due date is in 16 days, so I'll meet you soon enough. I have a feeling those are going to be the longest 16 days I've experienced thus far. Who knows, maybe it'll only be a few more hours. Come whenever you're ready love, we'll be waiting with open arms.
Love,
Mom
All the research says my heartburn is supposed to lesson when you're ready to arrive, I guess you didn't get the memo. Never mind that, you're getting close to joining us in this crazy world of ours. Every twinge I feel gets me nervous and excited that you're on your way. I'm doing a lot of research lately making sure I know exactly how I want things to go on your big day. Of course, life rarely gives us what we want and it seems like even less if we plan for it, but hey - that's what makes it interesting. Your dad and I are getting a little crazy with all the baby talk I think, it's been nice to just take a walk or cuddle without the world asking about all the symptoms and time frames. Everything is a countdown, every look is a summing up. I just want to meet you! I'm so curious as to who you'll look more like, what your attitude will be, what kind of little boy you'll become (please be the sweet kind). The waiting is starting to kill me! I'm terrified the more research I do of bringing you into the world, the actual physical process of labor, but on the other hand my desire to know you is so strong I'm keeping all the old wive's tales in my mind for getting you here sooner. Your due date is in 16 days, so I'll meet you soon enough. I have a feeling those are going to be the longest 16 days I've experienced thus far. Who knows, maybe it'll only be a few more hours. Come whenever you're ready love, we'll be waiting with open arms.
Love,
Mom
Friday, June 1, 2012
Dearest Oliver,
You're on pace to join this world right when we're expecting you. Let's keep it that way, shall we? Today is the first day of the third trimester of our journey together. When I found out I was pregnant with you, you were smaller than a grain of rice. A tadpole cluster of cells. Now look at you! The only thing left for you to do now is get stronger, put on weight so you can stand the cooler temperatures of the world outside. We are so close to seeing each other face to face, there are so many things I can't wait to show you, so many people I can't wait for you to meet. Me, of course! Though, I suppose you know me already - and in a way no one else could ever know. Unless your father and I decide to go through this madness again and give you a sibling. I can't wait to see the look in your dad's eyes as he holds you for the first time. Or your grandparents' as they become grandparents all over again. I was the first in round one, it's only fitting I'll bring the first from round two to life. I am curious as to how long you'll have to wait until you have cousins your own age to play with. Everyone is playing this game smarter these days, going to school, taking their time. Not to say I didn't, I made sure to have some college under my belt - I just got lucky and met your father at a younger age I suppose. Maybe your cousins Zach and Devrie will decide to make a playmate for you soon. Well, never mind all that. Your god parents Joshua and Melissa are brewing up a playmate for you right now. I'm sure that whatever gender their baby is you two will be fast friends.
Oh Olly, I wish you were here already! I don't know I can possibly wait three whole months! Yet, as you'll find out soon enough, three months goes by in the blink of an eye if we let it. There is still so much for me to do to get ready for your arrival. So much organizing and cleaning to do, so many things to buy! I wonder how I should decorate your space, do you like blue or green?
I can see you dancing in my tummy now as I type this. I can't wait to dance with you for real. I can't wait to teach how to read and write, how to distinguish this world in which we live and try and help you make sense of it all. I'll be right there with you, every crawling motion, every uncertain step, every full stride of the way. My parents seemed so old and out of touch... I hope that for you I can be someone to look up to, to rely upon, to trust with your issues and your thoughts. After all, you and I, we share something special. Our life blood, our DNA, our very essence is as one. I'm sure there'll be days when you hate me, but remember that. We are family, we are one. Always and forever.
Love,
Mom
You're on pace to join this world right when we're expecting you. Let's keep it that way, shall we? Today is the first day of the third trimester of our journey together. When I found out I was pregnant with you, you were smaller than a grain of rice. A tadpole cluster of cells. Now look at you! The only thing left for you to do now is get stronger, put on weight so you can stand the cooler temperatures of the world outside. We are so close to seeing each other face to face, there are so many things I can't wait to show you, so many people I can't wait for you to meet. Me, of course! Though, I suppose you know me already - and in a way no one else could ever know. Unless your father and I decide to go through this madness again and give you a sibling. I can't wait to see the look in your dad's eyes as he holds you for the first time. Or your grandparents' as they become grandparents all over again. I was the first in round one, it's only fitting I'll bring the first from round two to life. I am curious as to how long you'll have to wait until you have cousins your own age to play with. Everyone is playing this game smarter these days, going to school, taking their time. Not to say I didn't, I made sure to have some college under my belt - I just got lucky and met your father at a younger age I suppose. Maybe your cousins Zach and Devrie will decide to make a playmate for you soon. Well, never mind all that. Your god parents Joshua and Melissa are brewing up a playmate for you right now. I'm sure that whatever gender their baby is you two will be fast friends.
Oh Olly, I wish you were here already! I don't know I can possibly wait three whole months! Yet, as you'll find out soon enough, three months goes by in the blink of an eye if we let it. There is still so much for me to do to get ready for your arrival. So much organizing and cleaning to do, so many things to buy! I wonder how I should decorate your space, do you like blue or green?
I can see you dancing in my tummy now as I type this. I can't wait to dance with you for real. I can't wait to teach how to read and write, how to distinguish this world in which we live and try and help you make sense of it all. I'll be right there with you, every crawling motion, every uncertain step, every full stride of the way. My parents seemed so old and out of touch... I hope that for you I can be someone to look up to, to rely upon, to trust with your issues and your thoughts. After all, you and I, we share something special. Our life blood, our DNA, our very essence is as one. I'm sure there'll be days when you hate me, but remember that. We are family, we are one. Always and forever.
Love,
Mom
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Dearest Oliver,
Please don't decide that now is your time... It is too early for you my dear. 25 weeks is no time for a baby to be born into this world. Yesterday morning as I was driving to work I started having pains that didn't feel right, considering you're still in there and it's no where near 36 weeks when you're allowed to think about entering this world. As the contractions in my stomach grew, I called my doctor and after a few hours I headed to the hospital to be poked and prodded. I was so worried when they started doing pre-term labor tests - the thought hadn't even crossed my mind really - while in pain it wasn't very strong, not very persistent.. just there. I think that was the first moment I was really aware of the whole situation in a very sudden and interesting way. Obviously your father and I decided to have you, we've gone to all the visits and had all the tests to make sure you're as healthy as possible. But here I was, and hooked up to these monitors and there were the contractions, and there was your heart beat and I prayed, "Dear God, not yet, not yet. He's too little, not yet." And they said everything was good and no signs of labor and they tested me and it was just an infection. Funny thing, pregnancy, that an infection can make contractions happen. Multiple infections / prolonged infections can cause labor to happen from the sheer force of the contractions they produce. It makes no sense to me, just one of those bodily functions that occurs. So, my son, it was not your time yesterday, do not let it be your time in the near future. You're "full term" July 27th and that is the earliest I want to feel these twinges in my abdomen again. I hope you wait until you're really full term. August 24th. I'll be ready... as ready as I'll ever be, for you then. August 24th, you hear me young man? See you then.
Love,
Mom
Please don't decide that now is your time... It is too early for you my dear. 25 weeks is no time for a baby to be born into this world. Yesterday morning as I was driving to work I started having pains that didn't feel right, considering you're still in there and it's no where near 36 weeks when you're allowed to think about entering this world. As the contractions in my stomach grew, I called my doctor and after a few hours I headed to the hospital to be poked and prodded. I was so worried when they started doing pre-term labor tests - the thought hadn't even crossed my mind really - while in pain it wasn't very strong, not very persistent.. just there. I think that was the first moment I was really aware of the whole situation in a very sudden and interesting way. Obviously your father and I decided to have you, we've gone to all the visits and had all the tests to make sure you're as healthy as possible. But here I was, and hooked up to these monitors and there were the contractions, and there was your heart beat and I prayed, "Dear God, not yet, not yet. He's too little, not yet." And they said everything was good and no signs of labor and they tested me and it was just an infection. Funny thing, pregnancy, that an infection can make contractions happen. Multiple infections / prolonged infections can cause labor to happen from the sheer force of the contractions they produce. It makes no sense to me, just one of those bodily functions that occurs. So, my son, it was not your time yesterday, do not let it be your time in the near future. You're "full term" July 27th and that is the earliest I want to feel these twinges in my abdomen again. I hope you wait until you're really full term. August 24th. I'll be ready... as ready as I'll ever be, for you then. August 24th, you hear me young man? See you then.
Love,
Mom
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Dearest Oliver,
You are twenty weeks and two days old today. Although, I guess in our way of counting, you're still at negative 19 weeks and five days. . . if we want to be exact. As I write this, you must be dancing, or practicing your martial arts - jabbing me as fiercely as I'm sure you can manage. You're growing wonderfully, and I'm so happy that we know you're going to be a beautiful baby boy. It felt so weird calling you "it" or "the baby" all the time. It's lovely to know you just a bit better, since I know your name. Oliver Alexander Addison. Sounds lovely to me. If I had it my way from the start, you'd have been named Nikolai - but your father was absolutely against that. However, Oliver seems so perfect for you, I can't imagine you being named anything else.
Oliver means peace. I like to think it means bringer of peace - that you will inspire everyone you meet to be rational, calm...peaceful.The Olive tree, after which your name derives it's origins is also a symbol of fruitfulness, beauty, and dignity. Your name originally made it to our lists because of Oliver Queen - the Green Arrow.
Alexander is the defender of mankind, a warrior of greatness. My brother's name, your uncle through birth - your cousin through paperwork & standing. I hope you get to meet him some day. I'm sure you'll learn as you grow older, our family is a bit complicated...
Then of course, is Addison. The name given to you most pertinently by your father. Meaning son of Adam. Though, we are all sons of Adam and daughters of Eve when you get right down to it, are we not?
So, dearest Oliver - you are destined to be a peaceful defender of mankind - beautiful and dignified. You, a son of Adam, yes... but perhaps more relevantly a son of Stephanie and Johnathan Addison. We await your arrival into this world with great hope. Excited and terrified for the new adventure you will bring to us.
Today, besides being your father's 27th birthday, is also Easter. A day in which we celebrate the promise of eternal life, birth, new beginnings, and spring. While it's next year you'll officially celebrate your official first of this holiday - I have the pleasure of being the first one ever to wish you, my son, a very happy Easter. I pray you will know my love, and God's love, now though you are not quite fully formed.
All my love on this day and always,
Mom
You are twenty weeks and two days old today. Although, I guess in our way of counting, you're still at negative 19 weeks and five days. . . if we want to be exact. As I write this, you must be dancing, or practicing your martial arts - jabbing me as fiercely as I'm sure you can manage. You're growing wonderfully, and I'm so happy that we know you're going to be a beautiful baby boy. It felt so weird calling you "it" or "the baby" all the time. It's lovely to know you just a bit better, since I know your name. Oliver Alexander Addison. Sounds lovely to me. If I had it my way from the start, you'd have been named Nikolai - but your father was absolutely against that. However, Oliver seems so perfect for you, I can't imagine you being named anything else.
Oliver means peace. I like to think it means bringer of peace - that you will inspire everyone you meet to be rational, calm...peaceful.The Olive tree, after which your name derives it's origins is also a symbol of fruitfulness, beauty, and dignity. Your name originally made it to our lists because of Oliver Queen - the Green Arrow.
Alexander is the defender of mankind, a warrior of greatness. My brother's name, your uncle through birth - your cousin through paperwork & standing. I hope you get to meet him some day. I'm sure you'll learn as you grow older, our family is a bit complicated...
Then of course, is Addison. The name given to you most pertinently by your father. Meaning son of Adam. Though, we are all sons of Adam and daughters of Eve when you get right down to it, are we not?
So, dearest Oliver - you are destined to be a peaceful defender of mankind - beautiful and dignified. You, a son of Adam, yes... but perhaps more relevantly a son of Stephanie and Johnathan Addison. We await your arrival into this world with great hope. Excited and terrified for the new adventure you will bring to us.
Today, besides being your father's 27th birthday, is also Easter. A day in which we celebrate the promise of eternal life, birth, new beginnings, and spring. While it's next year you'll officially celebrate your official first of this holiday - I have the pleasure of being the first one ever to wish you, my son, a very happy Easter. I pray you will know my love, and God's love, now though you are not quite fully formed.
All my love on this day and always,
Mom
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